the gummy’s gonna get ya

So yesterday, I made it once again around the sun quite successfully. Which means that I didn’t actually end my solar orbit by dying in some hideous self-induced stupid accident that would see me ever immortalised by a Darwin Award.

So I tended to my facebook notifications (thank you, I loves youse all) and a few phone calls from the land of Aus, then made my way out into the streets for a little bit of Retail Therapy. (My psyche is now well adjusted, thank you Springfield clothing.) I happened to come across a man of shortish stature of eastern European appearance wanting me to take a sample from his hot and sweaty little hands. And by this, I mean he had what looked like a Gummy Bear so deformed that it shared the apparent similar qualities of the unfortunate genetic code that make up the monoliths from 2001 A Space Odessey. But like the man holding said item, they too were quite small in nature. “Short-stop” (his name, henceforth) tried to convince me that this semi-transparent object that I should have desired, was in fact, meat. Oh where was Mr Hare Krishna now?

After many attempts to get me to masticate his bizarre little object, (held athrust from what I could only assume were his hygienically clean digits) he decided to rebut my refusals by playing everyone’s favourite game in Budapest, “Guess the nationality of the Man with the angry eyes!” Needless to say, calling me Mr Sweden was not a winner for him.

Onto the Gellért Thermal Baths. Unlike the old and sabby-chic quality of the Turkish spa previously mention, these baths are much more grander in scale, with mosaics and statues on plinths. They were a little bit labyrinthine, and direction signs seem to indicate saunas and steam rooms somewhat locked behind Tardis like structures that could be found with a map, compass, Runes and a seeing eye-dog. When I rented my towel, the general attitude of “Oh, yet ANOTHER person at the counter interrupting my very important conversation, so you can wait for five more minutes until I am finished” attitude was somewhat charming.

Once I found the pools and saunas, it was very grand and quite lovely. Several of the statues doubles as water outlets that you could allow the water to fall and massage your neck and back while sitting underneath them. That was great. The saunas, of which there were three interconnecting, varied in temperature from pussy, decent, and hard-core Siberian. What a treat! And for those wanting to scold their nasal passages and lung linings, the steam room did just that with it’s invigorating aroma of Eucalyptus.

But for all it’s grandeur, I have to say I really like the smaller Turkish spa, because of the centrality of all the pools, splash baths, showers and steam rooms. Horses for courses, I guess.


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