baby brain

Example 1:

A conversation between regular normal human beings.

Jane: I bought a new blouse today from Top Shop. And it was on sale!
Joan: Ooh, what colour?
Jane: Mauve with deep purple trim.
Joan: Go on then, give us a look.

Example 2:

A conversation between three woman and a child of six months.

Jane: (to Baby) Tell Aunty Moron and Aunty Stupid what we bought for you today. You tell them.
Aunts Moron and Stupid: (2 Octaves above normal) Ohhh, what did you buy? What did the big girl buy for herself today.

Baby stares at grotesque earrings on Aunty Stupid.

Jane: (to Baby) You tell them that we bought, ahh …. a new pair of blue baby jeans, and ahh … a black tank top with the word Sassy on it. Yes you did!
Aunts Moron and Stupid: (2 Octaves above normal) Oooohhhh, Sassy. You are going to look the like the most cutest girl in your new clothes. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Baby has a stern look in her face, and starts to push down, magically changing her nappy from white to the colour of the brown kind.

Aunts Moron and Stupid grab at the clothing bag like seagulls fighting over a fried chip.

Aunts Moron and Stupid: (2 Octaves above normal) Oh, they’re gorgeous.

Jane smiles at her incredibly talented child

Aunts Moron and Stupid hold clothes up against Baby to see what they look like on.

Baby sicks up onto top.

What is it about the presence of a child that automatically lowers the IQ of a room?

You’ve probably guessed it, but I am of the Bill Hick’s school of population studies. (Link contains strong language that some may find offensive.)

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