This is where I am about to pop on a set of my male cranky pants with matching whinging soft leather loafers. So ladies, put on your cramp slings backs and dob up some colour on your pursed lips and take a back seat.
All I can say is that this is not what Coco Chanel would have wanted.
When you see the images of the Paris shows, the beautifully slender dizzy young things with always be holding a tasteful little clutch, a dazzling slung tote, a princely purse … you think style, elegance, impracticality even.
When did fine young cows, lambs, vinyls and even the odd crocodile unwillingly give up their hides in the modern woman era of pack-horsing?
Men for years have always been astounded by the level of detritus that a woman can pile into her little tardis of a handbag. Any chap that has stood on the side lines as his lady companion tries to stuff in the precious spilled contents of her handbag on the floor has been amazed by how much gets stuffed back into such a tiny space.
But nowadays as I wonder about ever misguidedly so, I notice that woman are turning themselves into packhorses with the amount of ‘stuff’ they carry in not one, not two, but at times three handbags. As I travel on the Tube in the morning – a transport system not particularly accommodating in space – the ladies pack themselves and their numerable carrying implements. And at many times they are doubling their original size and personal space. You’d be amazed at how many of the pack horses have no concept of this.
I stand there completely amazed at what the possible content of these bags are. What on earth are they carrying around with them that is so important that it is necessary to load themselves with bags upon bags? And I am baffled to come up with an answer. Are they a bunch on primly made up serial killers carrying the body parts of their victims as trophies?
I want to know why it is so important that each morning I get on the Tube I am crushed and pushed against these Dior and Prada knock offs that contain the mysteries of the universe, that are so precious that they must be carried at all times. I wanna know why? Why?
Right … back on with the suede suit of tolerance again.