where’s my alpha soup?

I travel the New Haven Metro North train line on a regular basis as part of my journey into New York City. Now those of you who know me and have lived with me at some point know that I am not an early riser. So I never catch the early peak train line at all. Why bother, when I could be tucked up nice and tight under the blankets sound asleep.

But I have been catching the peak hour train service from Grand Central Station north back to the comfort of those blankets. And during these journeys I get to observe the working people make the trek back to New England and their sea side dwellings, drinking from their cans of beer.

In a precedent I would like to see adopted in my homeland, you are allowed to purchase alcohol on the train. Marvelous! Most of the drinking commuters I see are men, with their loosened neck ties and jacketless suits. And of course, what do you get when you have a whole bunch of semi-affluent males all juiced up on a brew?

Alpha males.

And would-be alpha males.

So interesting to watching the pack try and work out the hierarchy and the jostling of positions. You have the true alphas who generally stand in the vestibule areas of the train car, not really saying much. They stand and observe, and grant status to those wishing to join the upper echelons with a nod and a smile.

The would-be alphas, all bounce about and do tricks and try to impress. Ooh ooh ooh, listen to me talk about my boat. Ooh ooh ooh can I tell you about how much money i made/lost today? Ooh Ooh Ohh watch me interpretive dance it. Ooh ooh ooh name drop name drop name drop. Bwahahahaha look at me laughing loudly look at me look at me look at me pant pant pant!

I saw one would-be alpha stand in the vestibule as most of the alphas were alighting at one station trying to impress. So, are we still on for Friday on the boat? Don’t disappoint me now? You can’t help but notice the bunny in the headlights look of the those that don’t want to go, but are trying to find a polite way to excuse themselves. Errm … I’ll talk to you later about that. With that they make a speedy exit out the doors to the safety of the platform. Phew, got out of that one.

The truly supreme alphas just ignore the gesture.

So, do you like my blog, no really, my blog is totally awesome right, ’cause I wrote something about Geoffrey Rush, pant pant and I made one billion trillion on readership but lost it all in a craps game in Vegas, pant pant pant but do you want to come onto my boat because it totally rocks ….


4 thoughts on “where’s my alpha soup?

  1. having thought it through – alcohol on Aussie trains double plus very bad insane-o notion

    no alph males but sweet lordy imagine the flanno wearin’ mullet bearing two headed Central Oast escapees

    bad Troy – bad thinking!

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