my love affair with the bean

Dear Mr President,

Yes you can!

I ask just thing one little thing of you. Create a new amendment in your constitution that introduces all Americans into the joy that is true Italian style espresso coffee. Not this bulk processed swill that everyone here assumes is coffee.

I can’t believe it. It took me nine days to get a fix of my favourite drug, to let that monkey again get on board my back. Finally I have reconnected with a somewhat old flame.

Goodbye to Starbucks. Goodbye to Coffee Bean. Hello to Urth Caffe [sic] West Hollywood. Even if your people mispell the word cafe.

Oh Bammy, Urth Caffe has restored my faith in espresso. Finally a latte without burnt coffee, boiled milk and piss weak froth on top. Finally, a coffee with a creamy foam and a floated crema on top.

So decree that your people get their collective arses down to their local Urth Caffe shop, and let the blind finally see, the deaf finally hear, and the caffiene addicted finally shed themselves of the DTs.

God bless coffee.

God bless Urfth Caffe.

And God Bless these Untied States of America.

Yours, finally, ever so comfortably,

Troy “The Coffee Nazi” Johnston


8 thoughts on “my love affair with the bean

  1. Sounds like you’d love Australia – the coffee here is consistently fantastic, mostly from independent cafes. Starbucks have been almost pushed out because their standards don’t match up!

    1. Haha, yeah I think I would love Australia. In fact, being Newcastle born and bred, and having just left Melbourne after eight years, I’ve come to appreciate a decent espresso. But for now the yanks have me!

      1. Ah, that would explain your love of the bean!

        I’m Scottish and living in Sydney at the moment and I’m continually impressed with the great coffee here! I’m going to struggle when I go home!

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