I was once completely vexed playing a quick game of Travel Scrabble over the fact that I was not allowed the word “quin” on a triple word score. We had left the dictionary at home and no one had wireless internet in the back of our humble touring bus. I tried to convince my slow witted competitors that quin was accepted usage to identify one sibling out of a set of five born in a set. Blank dreary faces stared back at me. “Shall I get out a blackboard and chalk to draw you a stick figure diagram so that you might understand?” More dull and dreary looks. I know it was only worth thirty nine points, but people, it’s the principle of the thing. One must take the red square at all costs if it is open. I brandished like a flag on the Parisian barricades my Bachelors of Arts Degree majoring in English Literature, yet even this was not enough to convince these blaggards that I was indeed right and not to question me. Why am I forced to live in a world of morons?
I refuse to go into in this forum my yearly Christmas persecution over the Pictionary board with the entire family cheating, YES CHEATING, in their alcoholic induced haze. You know who you are people. I have seen your underhanded sliding of playing cards to show your team mates the answer because your Shiraz sodden hand is unable to pick up a pen are draw a flower better than a two year old chimpanzee. What is the point of playing a game where there are rules if only to break them?
With the online world cheating is rampant because of the amount of sites devoted to gaining you the maximum amount of points in a match. It’s like playing against a computer rather than a civilised human being. And where is the satisfaction in that? The only way I they could win was to pretend they were a Commodore 64.
Now, I am not without some sense of personal understanding. I know that I may have the slightest teency-weency of tendencies towards competitiveness. I have friends that will never play Canasta with me again because I, yes “I” can you believe it Ladies and Gentlmen, have been accuse of being far to an aggressive player in trying to beat them. They are under the misapprehension that we are playing for “fun”. I’m sorry but we are playing for sheep stations! Is that not in itself “fun”? Especially when you win?
All these youths I see today with their Nintendo DS and PlayStation Portables staring down at their little flat screens, leave me just a little sad. Never will they know the look of real fear in their opponents eyes. Never will they see the sweat drip onto the board from a nervous brow as their opponent plays a tile that will lead to their ultimate demise. Never will they be able to lord it over their friends and family that they are the champions my friends, and they will keep on fighting to the end.