Well, it’s Sunday morning and I seem to have misplaced an hour. Yes, that’s right, it’s daylight saving time in little old Melbourne town, and a few other places on the eastern seaboard of Australia that don’t rate a mention.
And for those of you hiding under a rock or possibly overseas, we are in full elections swing.
Now, I know this will be the point where some of you will stop reading avec a roll of the eyes, but wait … I shall trying to bring to Kevin 07 the type of comedy gold that I am renowned for.
What on earth is going on in this country???? I’m mean really, how frigin’ stupid are people??? Do I really have to advise these twits about the role of the Senate and the way in which Law and Bills are reviewed and passed??? But no, we need a thrity second grab on telly by shiny shiny political faces to tell us! So people, here it is in a hypothetical instance … say a Fascist Monarchist Dictator With Eyebrows Of Mirth wanted to pass legislation to, oh I don’t know, reduce wages and unfairly disadvantage the working class and the young. He might put a bill together with those ideas under the title of Lack O’ Work Choices For Dummies. Fascist Monarchist Dictator With The Eyebrows of Mirth takes this little tome into the House of Representations (green vinyl furniture) and promotes it to his lackeys. Then the lackeys all cheer in glory and send it on up to the Senate (red vinyl furniture) to review and maybe point out one or two little flaws, like unfairly disadvantaging the poor. Now if the Senate is fairly balanced between the fascist monarchist’s lackeys and the Marauding Centralists In Search Of A Policy led by Mr Bland In A Strip Joint, then there might actually be some debate and a couple of post-its stuck to the side suggesting one or two minor changes. Lack O’ Work Choices For Dummies then goes back down to the House of Reps (more green vinyl) for mockery and sniggering. Fonts are changed in the bedazzling hope that nobody notices that the wording hasn’t been changed, and up to the Senate for its final review. The Senators are then enthralled by the overwhelming change from Times New Roman to Arial Narrow, law is passed, and the birth of a new bundle of joyous devil spawn comes into the world.
So people, let me take you back three yeas ago to a time when the Fascist Monarchist Dictator With The Eyebrows Of Mirth once again asked you to do him the honour of leading your people into a war you didn’t want and into industrial reform you couldn’t understand. Knowing that the last of the great publicly owned icons (i.e. Telecom/Telstra) had his head on the chopping block, not only did you give the Fascist Monarchist Dictator the permission in the House of Green Sweaty Vinyl, but you overwhelmingly gave him all the lackeys he desired in the House of Stained Red Vinyl, so that devil spawn got rubber stamped in the middle of the night when nobody happened to be looking. In the full knowledge of what the Fascist Monarchist Dictator With The Eyebrows Of Mirth wanted to do, people blindly furnished him with all the seats of red vinyl they could muster. Then they wondered why Lack O’ Work Choices For Dummies got the breath of life.
People People People, you get the government you deserve! (Oh please, stop that hysterical mantra of “I didn’t vote for him”! Someone bloody must have.) Give a fascist mornarchist dictator majority and don’t be surpised that he uses it to his own advantage.
I am a Libran, my life aim is about understanding the word BALANCE! So come this November 24th, where all indicators point to Mr Bland In A Strip Joint and his Marauding Centralists Party In Search Of A Policy suddenly rises to the top job, can you please please please look at all those little square boxes on the two metre long sheet and consider what happened last time you invited crazy into the Senate, put it to bed, sullied the sheets and made it breakfast in the morning?
I don’t care who you vote for (actually, I do … but that’s another rant), just make an informed decision. Don’t just close your eyes and wave your pencil randomly over the ballot in the hope that it lands within a box of some sort. Here endeth the rant of disobedience and flippancy.
* N.B: Laws, Governmental Officials and the People of the Commonwealth of Australia are purely fictional and bare absolutely no similarity to those mocked in the above tirade. Hang on … that did happen three years ago. I take it all back!