are you protected?

Maybe it’s just me …

I see this button on so many bloated jackets and want to go up to those wearing them and say ….

baby brain

Example 1:

A conversation between regular normal human beings.

Jane: I bought a new blouse today from Top Shop. And it was on sale!
Joan: Ooh, what colour?
Jane: Mauve with deep purple trim.
Joan: Go on then, give us a look.

Example 2:

A conversation between three woman and a child of six months.

Jane: (to Baby) Tell Aunty Moron and Aunty Stupid what we bought for you today. You tell them.
Aunts Moron and Stupid: (2 Octaves above normal) Ohhh, what did you buy? What did the big girl buy for herself today.

and how are you today, mr darwin?

Like any normal person, I have been thinking a lot about the evolution of the human species lately. Yet again, I guess I should put out a disclaimer to the creationists and those that fancy their sensibilities to be offended somewhat easily to look away now. You might get to see a nice little kitten in the corner.

Yes, back to evolution. You’ve probably guessed by now that I don’t think that the human race sprung into existence by a lonely god with some time on his hands. I am a scientist through and through, not to say that I am not a man of God. I do carry my own miss mash of spiritual beliefs.

ring ring why don’t you give me a call?

Call Centres. Love them or hate, they are a modern day fact of life. Much has been written about the efficiency or lack there off, and maybe one day I might just contribute to the blogosphere about it.

That said, humble general public person, let me tell you something … you’re all pretty damn thick.

Oh but give me just a few more lines further and no doubt I’ll have you feeling the urge to take out an Kalashnikov to mow down our fellow moron human beings like cattle.

Here’s a few gentle and simple rules when calling a call centre about your problems.

what would prada do?

This is where I am about to pop on a set of my male cranky pants with matching whinging soft leather loafers. So ladies, put on your cramp slings backs and dob up some colour on your pursed lips and take a back seat.

Handbags.

All I can say is that this is not what Coco Chanel would have wanted.

modern times and tradition

Last week  was a historic day time for the British Parliament.

The Queen gave her speech opening the 59th Parliament under her reign with the coalition of the Conservatives and the Liberal Democrats.

Full of pomp and ceremony, the Queen strode into Parliament having arrived by carriage. The Yeoman of the Guard stood there in their finery. Helmets with fluffy feathers and sparkling gilding abounded. Fanfares from shiny trumpets and brass instruments sounded, all draped in the Queens Standard.